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11:44 p.m. - 2003-03-03
So I just got through with my homework! YAY ME!! *AHEM* But that's not my reason for my description being called what it is. I was watching the HBO America Undercover series. This one was called The Smashing Machine: The Life and Times of Mark Kerr This was truely disturbing for me to watch! And the funny thing is, I could not stop watching it. I guess it's one of those things, you know what I'm saying? Mark Kerr was a big name in those no-holds-barred type fights. Now, these are the kind of fights where it's a straight up brawl. We're talking straight up ass kicking! I used to watch this stuff a few years back but I guess I never really noticed how brutal it really was. Anyways, there was this one part of the documentary where he had just lost a fight, so he went and took all the drugs he could get his hands on. Needless to say, he almost died. So he went to rehab. And I felt so bad for the guy because his girlfriend at the time, was not supportive of him to stay clean. She was still going out and doing drugs, getting drunk...just being a beeyatch. I felt his pain watching this happen to him on TV. You never know how hard life is until you are staring up from the bottom of the empty liquor bottle. I know..I've been there and it's SO HARD when there is no one to help you through those rough times. All I had were my bottles of ABSOLUT. My parents couldn't even help me. They never bothered asking me what was wrong, they just said they were going to send me to rehab. *Blah* And even if they had asked me what was wrong, I wouldn't have been able to tell them because I didn't even know!!It was a rough time for me. I had quit going to my classes, I drank all day, all night. And when I didn't drink, I twitched like a crackhead. Luckily, I made a trip down to Houston and Galveston that changed my life forever. Now, don't get me wrong....I can still hang with the big boys (right, D???) but I just don't do it like I used to.

Enough ranting...I'm watching The Crush right now. It's that old ass movie w/Alicia Silverstone, I'm sure ya'll remember it. It's at the part where Alicia's character unloads a beehive into this lady's darkroom. HA! I know, it's not supposed to be funny...but if some beeyatch told me to "Go play" like I was some stupid kid, I'd be unloading the beehive in her room too! Man.......I am one sick girl to think that....*Grinz*

Before I go to bed and watch the rest of this movie, I gotta give HUGE plugs to my girl LT who's keeping it real in AZ. I miss you! Take care chica!!!!

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